oh dear

My last post was on April 7th. Goodness gracious. What have I been doing? I need to get my head in the game.

I've been working and working and schooling and schooling. And I've been trying to get "living" in that equation -it's been a moderate success, I would say.
I don't want to go into all the things I could say about work, except that my feet hurt so much. Roller-blading for five hours straight, sometimes longer, is serious business. And people that don't tip me are just rude. I actually fell asleep with an ice pack on my foot the other night. Thinking about it now, I'm pretty sure that pack is still on my bed. Oh well.

I'm currently sitting in Ethan's bed while he's a band practice. I have work in a few hours, but thankfully I'm not closing tonight.

Post Society has a show tomorrow in New Braunfels, Texas that I'm pretty excited about. Last weekend I missed one of their shows for the first time ever since they started playing shows in November '09. I was crushed.

"Why did you miss the show, Camael? What's wrong with you?" I had work. Yeah. Lame.

Things have been all weird between my stepmom and I lately. I can't tell if she's mad at me for something or if she feels indifferent about our relationship in general. She got really mad the other night when I told her I was getting off work at 11 -she thought it was too late to be working on a school night. So I'm pretty sure that if she is angry it's because I told her that I didn't agree, or disagree, with her about it. I dunno, lately I'm genuinely unsure of what's going on with her. I feel like it's going to be this way until I move out -then, it'll either get worse or we'll overcome it.

I have five weeks left of school! Next week is TAKS week -I've already touched base on that so I won't get into it again. I'm always really excited about summer, until it gets here and I realize that I have nothing to do. But I think working will make me motivated to live a little.

Prom is coming up next weekend, which I will not be going to. But I probably shouldn't get into that either. I'll just claim something like, "Ethan and I aren't very old-fashioned." This statement is somewhat true.

I'm about to open my second Arizona lemon tea. I love it so much, even though it's probably the worst thing to drink in large quantities. But whatever.

Middle class workin' gal

You're probably all thinking two things right about now: "She's only seventeen... wtf?" and/or, "WHY HASN'T SHE POSTED ANYTHING RECENTLY, WTF?"


I happen to have an answer to both of those questions. Yes, they are excuses, but I don't really care.
Okay, I know that I am only seventeen and should be a mindless weirdo that doesn't have to worry about money, but that's not the way it's going down. Ethan and I have a plan to move in together around this time next year (probably sooner), and so I need to start saving up now so that by the time we get to that point, I will be ready. And I just like knowing that if something ever happened to my parents, I'd be able to support myself. I'm liking the optimism... It's such a natural thing for me. 
Sarcasm is, too.


And, secondly, I have been pretty darn busy. By the time I get home I either have homework or I am ready to hit the hay. I wish I had posted something to inform you all but I don't like making small posts. It's all or nothing I suppose.


Highlights of these past few... however long it's been since my last post:

• I got hired at Sonic! My first day was Tuesday the 5th. Today was my second day.
• I dyed my hair black! I wanted to do the before and after stuff, but it didn't work out, and I apologize. But it looks awesome. Just take my word for it.

Wow, looking at that insanely long list, I realize how exciting my life is. Maybe that's why I haven't posted shit lately.

I already shared this on Facebook the other night but I would like to share it on here as well:

I was preparing for a history test (that I took today) on Wednesday in graphic design. Part of our tests is a written answer, kind of like an essay -but not long and pointless and stupid, and suicidal thought-inducing. Anyway, one of the questions was how did Cold War events shape the decisions of the Kennedy 

Administration? Joey and I were a little stuck on how exactly to answer this question.

Suddenly, I was able to form an answer. Something along the lines of this: "Kennedy himself wanted peace but when it came to the Cold War he had to do shit that wasn't peaceful because he had to show the Soviet Union that he wasn't a pussy." I don't know why, but I felt, and still feel, very proud of this answer. I felt very intelligent and I spoke with more conviction than normal (normally, I speak with close to no conviction).

And, of course, I've been driving so much. I love it. I love being in the my car. Today I took Mustard with me to Wendy's when I had gotten off work and I was getting food for my parents and I. He's the best car dog in the world, it's crazy. I love him.