I'm just gonna get straight to the point, Ethan and I broke up. It hurts. We're still friends and whatnot but on nights like this (when I have nothing to do), it's easier to sulk about it then to think of the positive sides.
And there are positive sides to it. I am going to work on my self-confidence, or lack of, and try to stop hating things and people in general. It's not healthy. And Ethan is also going to work on his insecurities.
We'll probably get back together at the end of the summer -which for me is too long of a wait, but I'll live.
I didn't want to break up with him nearly as much as I thought I did. The only reason I thought I wanted to was because I knew it was necessary. I'm just glad that I still have him in my life and that there is some light at the end of the tunnel. I want to change myself so that we can look at each other in similar ways to before, but also in new ways that will make the gushy moments of staring deeply into each other's eyes even more gushy.