It's official

I'm going to dye my hair black again this weekend. I had black hair for at least two years, and even though it took some color from my face, I rocked it. So I have decided that I miss it too much and it is time for me to return to the days O' Black Hair. I'm so excited! I'll do a whole before and after thing. It'll be great.

Here is my proof:

 I want to say that this is one of the last pictures I took with my black hair... So sad. I had just gotten it cut. This was the beginning of this school year.

Haha, Ethan's hair! This was freshman year, I believe. Or the summer after that year... I can't remember.

I got my ricense, yall!

It's true. I am finally a legal driver. No parents, no person over 21, just me and a passenger of my choice.

[Insert title here]

I never know what to title these things. Today was a good day, with only a few hours of boredom.

I went to bed around 4am due to Chelsea Handler. I finished reading her book! And let me just say, it was totally worth the lack of sleep. I loved it.
Ethan took me out to breakfast at 9am (both of us running on four hours of sleep). We went to Kerbey Lane and had some delicious pancakes. I didn't eat at all yesterday so it was good that we went to a place with big portions. We had a super awkward waiter that we have had once before, and I think that he lacks personality all around. Ethan agreed, so it's not just me.
After we ate, Ethan took me home and I immediately went back to sleep. I think I woke up around 1pm and didn't get out of bed until almost 2pm. I kept trying to make myself go back to sleep but it wasn't working. I watched Law & Order: SVU for a few hours until Reese, Ethan's brother (also known as my brother-in-law), came and picked me up from my house so we could go to their mom's house to celebrate Reese's birthday. Ethan had a meeting with his band manager, who I am not fond of, so he was late.
We had a pretty good time, and his mom makes amazing food. Which is always a plus.

I'm feeling really sappy right now, so I'd just like to say that after two years, I still like Ethan. And I like that I still like him. There's a huge difference between like and love, although I do love him very much.

I got to thinking earlier about a few things; I hated wasted potential and people thinking that they're below average, or just failures. But life seems to have a cycle: the people that are driven or really smart or inventive take on high-paying jobs, or become famous, or whatever. I started wondering after I went to the Social Security office the other day, "So what about the people that work mediocre jobs? Do they want to work there?" I'm always very curious about how anyone and everyone got to where they are, but especially people like that. I could go on and on about wasted potential, and all the what if  scenarios I have contemplated. But I realized something: that's just how it is. People that fall short for whatever reason fill in the jobs that other people don't want because one way or another, they have to be filled. There's always going to be somebody with that occupation. And I think it's amazing that these people are looked down upon. Yes, you usually have a bad experience at the DPS due to the lack of social skills that some people show, but they are actually doing things that are basic, yet essential, to all Americans.
Again, I don't know why things like this are important to me. I think it's just how I react to my realizations of the world's unspoken rules. These are hard things to learn. Even harder to accept.

Sorry, sorry

I have another picture for you guys! Yay! I took it and actually really liked it so I edited it in a few different ways. Today I went to the Social Security office, and now, after almost a month of being under the impression that I was being taken care of, they are finally going to send me my new card. Ethan was a dear and drove me there, and waited with me. Minh gave Marion and I a shit-load of gummy bears today during lunch that by the time I got to the office I was feeling pretty sick. But whatever, gummy bears are awesome. And I'm pretty sure I was feeling ill more from how badly I was freaking myself out: I don't know why, but I pictured the woman telling me that they couldn't replace my card for whatever random reason.
We watched a YouTube video today about incest in health, which was disturbing, to say the least. The video was titled 'My First Crush' and it was all in Chinese -probably for our sake. Oh, and, Bri and I went to the mall and we were followed into a store by some creepy dude wearing shades (inside and at night). He came up right behind me pretending to look at something next to a bracelet that I was looking at. We didn't leave the store until at least five minutes after he left. We even walked around looking for a mall cop to escort us back to Bri's car, but apparently they get weekdays off. Which doesn't make sense. Are people worth arresting only hitting up the mall on the weekends? I don't think so.
So I guess you could say those were the highlights of my day.

Holes in my ears, y'all! 

I love putting my hair in an effortless bun. 

This is the original picture, by the way.

I fucked this one up and just decided to work it in (the top of my bed frame).

This one is my favorite, I think.

I don't like how dark this one turned out.

If/When I do get a nice camera, I will start making posts about fashion because I really do love clothes and I feel like my wardrobe is photo-worthy. Don't fret, I'll still tell all of you about my interactions with idiots and whatnot.

Super f*ck me over

Today was the first day back at school. I was lucky that today was a white day, the day with my off block. I had math, which was easy.
I actually heard an overweight girl talking about how she was 'crying while eating a pizza', when she was eating pizza for the first time after a week of not being able to. She like fell and broke her face or something. I don't know about any of you but, usually, I see pizza as a treat. It's not exactly a huge part of my diet, and I think it's sad that she was so crushed about not receiving those terrifying amounts of calories for a whole seven days. Oh no!

We watched Super Size Me in health today, so now I'm even more grossed out by overweight people. It really is disgusting to me, and the health risks are not worth any value meal out there. Yes, I am a pig; I love to eat, and when I do have junk food, I eat like a man. However, that is not a daily thing for me. I love vegetables very much, I go to the gym, and I always avoid McDonalds. I haven't eaten there for some years now and, trust me, I don't feel like I'm 'missing out' on death. I'd like to save that for a time in the very far away future. I will admit that I go to Taco Bell a lot, which is terrible. My justification for it is that my regular order doesn't have any meat in it, and Taco Bell's meat is very questionable, as you all know. It is still horrible, nonetheless.

In Super Size Me, the dude's girlfriend is a vegan. There is a part with her one-on-one with the camera, talking about the changes she was already seeing in her boyfriend. She says, 'when we do have sex, I have to be on top', to make a point about his loss of energy. The girl that sits behind me in my health class says in response, 'What? How does that even work?'
What do you mean 'how does that work'? I don't judge people based on whether or not they are sexually active (unless they've screwed everyone, or they try to preach abstinence to the world), but come on. We are in high school. These are the four last years of our adolescence, and then we will be considered adults. Do you really not know what they're talking about, or was that a really bad joke that nobody picked up on? Grow up.
I should have turned around and explained to her how it works. With diagrams and colorful pie charts.


Any-who, yesterday was Ethan and I's two year anniversary! Is that not totally crazy? Two years! He made me brunch and we sat around watching movies until he had work. Which I'm still pissed about. I wish I could be the person that chose his work schedule, but apparently I'd have to be in an official position to be able to do so. It's a cruel world we live in. I liked that we didn't go out to a fancy dinner to celebrate, though. We were in a more natural habitat: I hadn't showered in at least a day and Ethan was thriving off of Paranormal Activity 2. It was nice. I think what I love the most about our days like that it is our thing, I wouldn't turn around and do that with someone else. Someone else would be sitting there thinking, 'She smells. And she's wearing my shirt.... GREAT. Can I go to work now? Lying isn't always bad. We celebrated this crap last year anyway.' But not Ethan, which is why I love him. I've reached the point where I cannot describe my feelings for him, I do not have the words to express my love and admiration for him.
Let's hope that he has something nice to say about me.

Me and Ethan at the kite festival <3

I have fun sometimes

I started editing two pictures I just took, and quickly remembered how much I love editing. Here's what I came up with. And yes, sadly, my lip piercing is closing up. I took it out for thirty minutes and was never able to get it back in. Bastard.

Ethan and I's picture in the background -nice touch, eh?

I'm so awkward.

I decided to do the whole five minute hair 'crunching' thing with mousse. I haven't done this in years, but I gotta say, I'm not too ashamed of it.

Not the onions...

My dad was on the phone earlier in our kitchen and I heard him say, 'I'm just making myself a tuna sandwich.' I walked into the kitchen to grab something from the refrigerator before leaving and I noticed that he had a huge bowl full of at least four cans of tuna. I thought to myself, 'It looks like he's feeding a family of twenty.'
Later on I treated myself to a tuna sandwich (I'm a big fan if you haven't noticed) and although it was very delicious, I couldn't help but notice an odd taste that I did not like very much. See, my dad did what I don't do: He went that extra mile in tuna sandwich-making and put in celery, pickles, and the unknown ingredient that I wasn't happy about. I do not do this when I make my own tuna sandwiches, so I'm not familiar with what is traditionally used.
Even later on, I treated myself to a second sandwich. As I was chewing, I looked at my sandwich and saw something... something horrible. Onions. I hate onions. I will tolerate them if they are cooked and mixed in with something like soup, but raw onions are completely unacceptable on every level. These onions were raw.  Gross, gross, and gross.

Any-who, I am officially hired at Sonic! I have to buy my own skates, which is kind of lame, but whatever.

Today was a pretty good day, too. Ethan took me to get donuts in the morning (around 1pm), I had a tea party with Minh and Marion (I dunno why we didn't take pictures), and then I filled out paperwork at Sonic. The Sonic part was more exciting than you think, okay? Don't hate.

I just found out earlier that Chelsea Handler is coming to Austin. I am all over that. Yes, I will be putting my life's savings into a ticket, but I do not give one flying f*ck. It's Chelsea Handler, come on. Can you get any better than that? No, you can't, so don't try.

Unfortunately, all of the tickets for Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros are sold out. But that's okay, I know that I will see them live one day.

I think I've made a rhyme. 

Yay, tea party! Am I right? Am I right?

...NO

More like this:

(Minus the creepy dolls)

I feel like I shouldn't keep this from you: Our tea party was kind of a failure. All we had was two canisters of two different flavors of tea, honey, and some granola bars that Minh brought. Minh actually cut his water bottle in half and we used the two pieces as cups. Whatever, dude, I bet you're jealous.

The time of everyone else's lives

I suppose the fact that I have nothing to do today is karma, because I have not posted anything since Friday. In all honesty, this is why I wasn't that excited for spring break. I knew that at some point I would be left with the cold truth that I do not have a lot to do. This is me complaining, and I do apologize.

One 5-hour Energy later...

I feel horrible for not posting very much this week. I was way too excited about... *drum roll*...... SPRING BREAK. Bam. It's here. Just like that. I was actually focusing a lot on my school work this week, which is pretty darn amazing.

Today was pretty good. I'm still annoyed but at least the really annoying people are only encountered at school, so I get a week away from them. There's this girl in my chemistry class, who I've known since second grade, and have disliked since second grade, that insists on pretending like she knows anything and everything about Ethan and I's relationship. Which she doesn't. She doesn't know anything, actually. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned her before. And if I have not, I know I will in the future.

I had a history test today that I'm pretty sure I passed, or at least I'm hoping. It was over the Cold War, so I wouldn't be too surprised if I failed. Our past unit in history has supported my theory about how much better living in the 50s would be. Come on, that's when Rock n' Roll rose! Who wouldn't want to be apart of that? And then going into the 60s and becoming a hippie? F*ck yes! I'd do it. I can't do it now because that's not who I am at all, but back then it would've been my calling.

I have finally decided what I'm going to do about college (since it feels like everyone has been breathing down my neck about it): I am going to attend Austin Community College for two years and then transfer to the University of Texas to enroll in their Film Institute. I think it'll be awesome, and I will have a lot of time to experience what it's like to be an adult in the Live Music Capitol. Texas, I want to leave you... But Austin and I, we're really close. I can't do that to Austin.
I have stuck with wanting to leave Texas for a long time now, but the closer and closer the actual opportunity gets, it has turned into leaving Austin, which sounds awful to me. Austin is the best city to live in and it has been apart of my life since I was five. Ahhhh, decisions, decisions, decisions. I guess it's better to have options than to have no options... right?

Oh! Exciting news, y'all: I had a job interview at Sonic today and I am almost 100% sure that they are hiring me. It was my second job interview ever and it went so much better than my first. Obviously, not a lot of people want to work at fast-food places, but I don't even care. Sonic is a cool place that I've always liked and it's a job, for crying out loud! Although I do picture myself falling on my ass on those skates, but at least they won't have me doing that right away.

 "Learn how to use the register and how to skate while holding food. Today." "What?"

I'd just like to take this time to tell you all which bands I will being seeing next week (SXSW) and next month:

• Dead to Me
• The Strokes
• AWOLnation (maybe)
• Post Society <3
• Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros
• Mumford & Sons
• And many more that I can't think of right now because they probably aren't as exciting to me as the ones already listed.

I'm so excited! I've never been to so many shows, except for Post Society shows. I have attended every single Post Society show since their very first in December of '09. Yup, that's right, I am the most supportive girlfriend ever. Be jealous.

Speaking of which, everyone viewing this post should vote for Post Society to play in Warped Tour over the summer: http://www.battleofthebands.com/u/postsociety

(Sorry, I won't usually make my blog an ad but I try to support them as much as possible.)

If you don't vote for them, then I guess we can't be friends. But if you do, then we can be bestfriends. See how it all works out?

Ethan and I at the show last week in Maxwell. He's so great.

~yours truly~ Thank you, Mia!

My hatred for stupidity.

Unfortunately, this has to be short, sweet, and to the point tonight. I still have history homework and I have to shower. It's not okay to go two days without a shower -not in my book.

I think my hatred for stupidity has reached its peak. I find myself wanting to scream, 'DID YOU REALLY NOT THINK THAT THROUGH?' in many situations.

I wish that people would either recognize their potential to make a great contribution to a conversation, or just not contribute at all. Now, don't get me wrong, I understand that everybody has their 'moments'. We all laugh 'em off and move on. But, there are people out there that are just stupid. Like Ron White said, 'You can't fix stupid.' And you really can't. It almost makes me feel sorry for a second, and then I remember how old I am and that most of the people that I am hearing stupid things from are one year away from being legal adults. Is that not totally concerning to anyone else? I know that I'm not alone.

If you haven't noticed by now, I'm big on common sense and logical thinking. My experiences have made me this way and it is something that I try to value.

Today in math, I nearly lost it:
My teacher handed out our notes and as she began to write on the over-head she said, 'We're taking notes on Special Right Triangles.' So we did the first example of a special right triangle; she drew it on her paper and we calculated the lengths of its sides using the angles. We weren't focusing on the fact that we were working with right triangles, just to clarify, were we focusing on how to use the angles of right triangles to do other shit.
When we got to the second example, she drew the right triangle and asked the class, 'What do you notice about this triangle?'
A girl in my class, who doesn't think before she speaks, ever, answered, 'It's a right triangle.'

....

Thank you, so much. I had no idea that the triangle in the picture on our notes about Special Right Triangles, would be a right triangle. Holy crap.


I'm not sure why this bothers me as much as it does, but it really grinds my gears. I think that I subconsciously hold to the concept of everything serving a purpose and everything happening for a reason, so when people around me do things or say things for no reason, or without any reasoning behind it, I get frustrated.

Under Pressure

Looking back on past this weekend, the only thing I can think is, 'That was the best weekend I've had in a while.' I think everything about it was perfect, with only a few casualties.

On Friday, I had a nice and easy day at school and then afterwards I helped make a banner for Ethan's band. It started out being me, Ethan, Mia, Jonny, and Ian, all at Ethan's house. By the end of the night it was me, Jonny, and Ian, by ourselves at Ethan's house. Ethan's dad told me I was the the adult before he took off with some friends because no one else was home (Ethan had work). How liberating.
Eddie joined us in time to work on the last two letters of 'Society'. All in all, I enjoyed making it and it felt nice to know that I contributed something to the band -considering that I've gotten into most of their shows for free lately and I have yet to buy one of their shirts because I am a broke teenager. Ian then took me to pick up my friend, Zina -who had asked me if she could stay the night at my house earlier that day- and then dropped us off at my house. The thing I love about people like Zina is that it doesn't take a lot to entertain her. We sat and talked in my room until almost 3am. I loved it! I'm a talker, but only with people I like.
This experience for me, though, was kind of scary at first. I literally have not had a friend stay the night at my house since my freshman year. Which was two years ago. I hardly ever have people over; in almost two years (three hundred seventy days), Ethan has only been to my house just to hangout less than ten times. How sad is that?
I'm almost terrified of having guests. I always feel like people are going to leave my house thinking, 'That was so boring.' I don't mean to be boring! It's not my fault!
It's totally my fault.

On Saturday, I had to wake up at 8am to make sure that Ethan woke up and so that I could get ready to go to Maxwell, Texas, for Ethan's show at the Texas Independence Festival. Thankfully, Zina had Saturday school so I wasn't inconveniencing her with how early I had to be up. Somehow I was able to shower, and be ready for a show in less than an hour. I even packed necessities for the trip (which I didn't need because I was riding with Mia, Jonny, and Ethan). Ethan picked me up, dropped Zina off at the school, and then we went to Ian's house.

I made the mistake of wearing shorts. It was about forty degrees outside, even though the past few days had been perfect shorts weather. I decided to sit in the car while the Ethan, Eddie, and Ian brought out their equipment from Ian's basement, and while I was sitting there, I noticed that Ian's grandparents were staring at me through the glass of Ian's front door. How weird is that? I felt very uncomfortable. There was nothing to stare at, I was just cold and wanted to be away from the horrible, windy weather. I think I am the most uncomfortable when I receive attention that I am not seeking.

We hit the road shortly after Mia and Jonny got to Ian's, and then we were shortly off the road: Mia was approaching a red light, with a stopped garbage truck in front of us. She was looking down for something and didn't brake enough, causing her to bump into the garbage truck. At first nothing happened and she just backed up a little bit, and then the man driving the truck actually got out. Of course, there was no damage to the truck, just to Mia's fender. It was popped out of place, leaving her with a very ghetto-looking car. We pulled over to a more convenient spot and tried kicking and hitting it back into place before coming to the most simple solution: duct tape. We went to the nearest HEB and quickly got ourselves back on the road in the most stylish car you've ever seen.
The car ride was fun, all of us were cracking jokes and we had good music playing. What more could I have asked for?

The festival was a disappointment, not gonna lie. We were all expecting more people, and definitely a bigger crowd when they actually played. And, we were accompanied by a few annoying people. BUT, I did have fun and I really liked being with my friends all day. How generic does that sound?
Ethan was so lucky that the drive to Maxwell was only fifty minutes; he actually forgot his guitar in his car trunk at Ian's house, back in Austin. So me, Mia, Ethan, and Ian went back to get it. We made it back with more than an hour to spare, and while we were in Austin we had enough time to stop at Five Guys -the best burger place ever. And Ethan was able to stop by Amy's Ice Creams (his employer) and say hi. He spends a lot of off-hours there, it's kind of sad.

Mia and I were given a very difficult and terrifying job before Post Society played: handing out flyers to the people at the festival. I hated it. I can't talk to people that I know, let alone people that I don't know. It took us a while to be able to go up to people, but we did end up getting rid of all of the flyers we were given. One guy that we gave a flyer to, who was absolutely drunk, ended up being a fan of the band (even though that was kind of a given). Mia and I made it known that we were the reason that he saw them play.
One thing that I was especially pissed about was that the banner ended up not being used. I won't sit here and point fingers, though. I'll simply move on.

By the time we were all on our way back to Austin, I felt like I was dead. I may as well have been. Unfortunately, I find it very difficult to fall asleep inside a car, especially when it's moving. But it was fine because no one else fell asleep either.
We all went to Kerbey Lane Cafe when we got back and mindlessly ate some food, which we all desperately needed. But it was very hard to stay awake at that point, I didn't feel like I was attached to my body at all.

I fell asleep without any trouble that night.

Today, Ethan and I went to the Kite Festival at Zilker Park with Mia and Jonny. We got the least amount of kite-action there and didn't actually spend very much time there. We all decided we were starving and went and ate at Central Market Cafe. Obviously, that wasn't everything that happened, but that's all I'm giving you. It was fun in its simplicity. Although I was very envious when I saw everyone with their dogs at the kite festival, because I really do wish that I could take Mustard with me to things like that. But I can't take him anywhere that involves other dogs. He's under the impression that all other dogs are scary and that he should be the only dog, ever.

If there was one song in the world that I had to listen to over and over again for however long, it would be 'Under Pressure' by Queen and David Bowie. It's an amazing song that makes me very happy whenever I listen to it. It doesn't matter what period of time you were born in, it's timeless.

National Pancake Day

Today was a good day! Despite the TAKS test, which took me forever, but was easy. I feel like if I share the writing prompt I'll get sued by Texas. I'm going to share it with you. The writing prompt was to write an essay about a time that you overcame a fear. Guess what I wrote about?!

...I wrote about my fear of the dark. And I lied in the end. Technically, my entire essay was a lie, because I have not acually overcome that fear. I do not know if I will ever overcome that fear. I am a seventeen year-old junior in high school and I wish that the dark didn't even exist. I hate it so much. I have a hard time falling asleep in the dark, and I nearly lose my mind when I have to walk in the dark in my house at night when I'm hungry -which is every night- or even walking those three feet to the bathroom. It's a lot easier to do this in houses that I'm not familiar with, believe it or not, because my imagination can't make up a clear visual of something following me or a distorted dead girl coming around the corner, crawling on the floor... or waiting for me to come around the corner, or popping out from behind the nearest door. But there are a few visuals that I can't escape, like seeing someone standing in the window or crawling out from under the bed, or standing in the doorway watching me. I hate the dark. See what it's done to me? Actually, all of the above is for two reasons, and two reasons only; 1. my brother, and 2. scary movies. My brother used to locked me in our walk-in pantry that we had in the house that we lived in when we were still in Houston, and he would turn the light off before locking me in there (I actually included this in my essay). So much love. Scary movies is self-explanatory, though. As soon as I watch I scary movie, I wish that I hadn't. Simple is that. I am a wimp, forever.

Anyways, I made it through the TAKS alive. That's all that matters! Ya know, besides the score and all that other junk.

Oh, I wanted to say something real quick: Rohan is an awesome person.

That is all.

I love the schedule for TAKS days: Our first class is the normal hour and a half but the rest of our classes are twenty minutes. I did a whole lot of nothing today. However, I did get to catch up on some reading, which was awesome. I'm currently reading Are You There, Vokda? It's me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler. And I was trying so hard not to laugh out loud when I was still in the TAKS room while reading it. I think she is my idol. I love her sense of humor and I try to watch her show whenever I can -I currently can't because I screwed up my T.V. somehow. The more and more I read her book, the more I feel like I could have written it. Our writing is really similar, due to our similar humor. If I could do anything especially awesome, it would be meeting Chelsea Handler. Hands down. I admire her, because she definitely has more balls than I do and she does not give one single f*ck. I love you, Chelsea.

Do any of you love the feeling of giving people compliments? And I don't mean kissing people's asses. Just giving someone a compliment because you felt like it, not because you want them to like you, and not because you're secretly making fun of them. A real compliment. I love that feeling, I really do. I did that today in history, I told my teacher that her haircut looked very nice. And it really does, I wasn't lying. She keeps her hair short and it was starting to get too long. I've probably got many of you thinking 'I don't give any amount of shits, Camael.' Well I say to you, that's not my problem (and I say this with love).

Later on after school had gotten out, I went to Bri's house to hangout. We had been hearing about free pancakes being served at iHop throughout the day and decided to get in on it. I was kind of disappointed to find out that we couldn't choose a different type of pancake instead of buttermilk but hey, three free pancakes from iHop is not something that I would pass up.
As I was enjoying my pancakes with an overload of strawberry syrup on top, I noticed that a baby was crying. Two tables down from Bri and I. This is a pet-peeve of mine. Do not bring your infant into a public place, such as a restaurant, if you know that it will start hysterically crying for a long period of time. I know that you want to get out, and that is exactly what babysitters are for. Thankfully, he was escorted out of the building by one of his caretakers.

There was a strange moment when he was about to be carried out: I looked over at him (I'm not gonna lie, he was f*cking adorable) and he only had the facial expression of crying, but didn't actually make any noise for an odd amount of time. It was surreal.

His face was doing this but there was absolutely no sound.

Is that normal? It honestly freaked me out to the point of not even realizing that he wasn't annoying me during that time.

And one last thing: ANTHONY WRUCK.